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Understanding Self Harm: What It Is, Why It Happens, and How to Get Help

  • 1 day ago
  • 5 min read

Self injury, also referred to as self harm, is the deliberate act of causing injury or harm to ones own body. Many people do this in secret, which means the behaviour is not always obvious and may take different forms. These can include hitting oneself, substance misuse, cutting or burning the body, unhealthy patterns related to eating, or intentionally placing oneself in dangerous situations. Examples may include taking an excessive number of tablets or swallowing objects that should not be swallowed.


People describe self harm in different ways and may engage in it for a range of reasons, including difficulty coping with emotional pain or distress in healthy ways. Some individuals say it can help them communicate emotions that are difficult to express in words, make internal thoughts or feelings feel more tangible, replace emotional pain with physical sensation, reduce overwhelming thoughts or emotions, or express suicidal thoughts without intending to end their life.


After self harming, some people report feeling a sense of control over their body, emotions, or life circumstances. This can increase the likelihood that the behaviour becomes something they rely on over time. However, these effects are usually short lived, and distressing feelings often return soon afterwards. People may also experience emotions such as guilt or shame following the behaviour, particularly if visible scars remain.


Research suggests that around 1 in 10 young people will self harm at some point, although it can occur at any age. In a large hospital based study of adults who had self harmed, around 80% had taken an overdose and approximately 15% had injured themselves by cutting. In community settings, cutting is believed to be a more common form of self harm than overdose.


It is important to recognise that not everyone who self injures has a mental health condition, and people who self harm are not usually trying to end their life. Regardless of the reason, self harm can indicate that someone is experiencing distress and may benefit from help and support.


Treatment


Treatment usually focuses on the individuals specific experiences and, where relevant, any related mental health conditions, such as depression or borderline personality disorder. In these situations, support may address both the underlying condition and the self harming behaviour. Recovery can take time and often requires patience, ongoing support, and a willingness to develop new ways of coping.


A common form of support is psychological therapy, often referred to as talking therapy. These therapies provide a safe space to explore difficult emotions and better understand the thoughts or situations that may trigger self injuring behaviour. Through therapy, individuals may learn safer ways to manage distress, regulate intense emotions, improve self confidence, strengthen relationships, and develop healthier problem solving skills.


Several types of therapy may be used. These include Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which focuses on identifying and changing unhelpful thinking patterns, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), which teaches practical skills for managing emotions and coping with distress, and mindfulness based therapies, which encourage greater awareness of thoughts and feelings in the present moment. 


What can I do to support someone who is self injuring?


For those supporting someone who self injures, the experience can be upsetting and difficult to understand. However, there are practical ways to provide support:


  • Listen and acknowledge how the person is feeling, particularly during times when they feel the urge to harm themselves

  • Encourage them to connect with supportive friends, family members, or community groups

  • Help them access reliable information about self harm and available support, such as their GP, mental health services, and/or relevant charities (e.g., Samaritans)

  • Help them understand that self harm is a challenge that deserves support and understanding rather than secrecy or shame

  • Learn about possible warning signs so you feel better prepared to respond


There are also responses that may be unhelpful and are best avoided:


  • Do not take on the role of a therapist. Your role as a friend, partner, or family member is valuable in itself 

  • Do not expect the behaviour to stop immediately, as change usually takes time and consistent support

  • Try not to respond with anger or judgement, as this may increase feelings of shame or isolation

  • Avoid physical confrontation. Instead, encourage them to talk and seek support

  • Do not ask for promises that they will never harm themselves again or use ultimatums about the relationship

  • Remember that you are not responsible for preventing their behaviour, and it is important that you also have support


Self harm is often a sign that someone is experiencing significant emotional distress, even if the reasons behind it are not always visible to others. Talking openly, seeking support, and accessing reliable information can help people feel less alone and better able to cope with what they are experiencing. Support is available, and reaching out to trusted individuals or professional services can be an important first step.


If you or someone you know need immediate support


If you or someone you know needs urgent support, several confidential services are available in the United Kingdom. These organisations provide free support, listening services, and guidance for people who are struggling.


  • Samaritans: Call 116 123 Available 24 hours a day, every day for anyone who needs someone to listen

  • NHS 111: Call 111 For urgent medical or mental health advice when the situation is not life threatening

  • Shout Crisis Text Line: Text SHOUT to 85258 A free, confidential text support service available 24 hours a day

  • CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably): Call 0800 585 858 or use CALM webchat Available from 5pm to midnight every day. Support is available for people aged 15 and over

  • HOPELINE247 (Papyrus) Call 0800 068 4141, text 07860 039967 or email pat@papyrus-uk.org. A confidential service available 24 hours a day for people experiencing thoughts of suicide or emotional distress.


If someone is in immediate life threatening danger, contact emergency services by calling 999.


If you need longer term support


While crisis services can provide immediate help, some people may benefit from ongoing support to understand and manage the experiences that lead to self harm. Longer term support can provide a safe and consistent space to explore emotions, develop healthier coping strategies, and work towards recovery at a pace that feels manageable.


Bossa Health offers access to a multidisciplinary team of qualified and certified professionals, including therapists, psychologists, pharmacists, and psychiatrists. These clinicians have extensive experience supporting people who self harm as well as those living with a wide range of mental health conditions.


Through professional guidance and evidence based approaches, individuals can receive personalised support tailored to their specific needs. This may include psychological therapy, medication support when appropriate, and ongoing care from experienced mental health professionals.


Accessing support can often involve long waiting times, but with Bossa Health people do not need to wait months to receive help. After signing up and providing their availability, individuals can usually have an appointment scheduled within 48 hours, allowing them to begin receiving support quickly.


Seeking help can be an important step towards understanding difficult experiences and finding safer ways to cope. With the right support, many people are able to build resilience, improve their wellbeing, and move towards recovery.



References


National Health Service. (2023). Where to get help for self harm. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/self-harm/getting-help/

 
 
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